My favourite running partner

Being part Husky, Odin loves to run and jump and frolic. And he also needs to do it often. So running together satisfies two needs - his for exercise and mine for fitting in another run. But it is also more than that. As I gather up my running gear, I glance over and see Odin sitting in his bed, staring out the window at the world outside. And then he sighs and lies down, as if giving up on ever leaving the condo again.

Finally dressed and ready to go, I grab the leash, open the door, and he is barging out ahead of me, free at last. His pure enthusiasm for anything athletic is so inspiring that it lifts my spirits at the beginning of the run, instead of the feelings of dread that I usually have when starting a solo run. Other than the occasional bathroom break and doggy sniff, we run as a team, gathering focus, until on the last leg of the run when we have the same stride, both looking straight ahead, caught in the moment. Odin is my pet and companion. But he is also my running coach, urging me to go further and faster, growling when I let up on my pace. And I couldn't ask for a better friend to run with.

Wedding dress shopping for non-fashionistas

As you may know, I am getting married (cue dramatic music). After many, many years together, we are finally going to tie the knot.

We toyed with the idea of a quickie Vegas affair, complete with Johnny Cash as the official, and dreamed about a warm Hawaiian beach affair, but finally decided to go back to Acadia University, in Nova Scotia, where we first met. Close to both our families, it made the most sense.

My sister got married this past fall, so I already have some idea of the craziness ahead of us. The planning and guest lists and budgets and attempts to retain sanity. And I know that I somehow want this whole thing to be simple and fun and have it just feel like us.

So in November, my Mom and one of my sisters made the trip out to Vancouver to help me look for "the dress". I've watched a bunch of those wedding dress shows (sometimes there's just nothing on TV, ok?) so I had a general idea of what would happen. What I didn't expect was how out of place I would feel. I've never been a huge shopper or fashion-type person. And now that I live in Whistler and spend most of my days either skiing, hiking or working from home, clothes are pretty far down on my list of priorities. As my cousin Kaitlyn put it, "Left to my own devices, I’d be a hoodie habitating jeans wearing hiking boot rockin’ [31] year old."

So back to the dress shopping. You know that scene in the Sex and the City episode where Miranda thinks it would be fun to have she and Carrie dress up in ridiculously-awful wedding dresses and Carrie ends up having a panic attack and breaking out in hives? That was basically how I felt. Things were tight where they shouldn't be, I couldn't breathe (one shop assistant told me that you're not supposed to feel comfortable in a wedding dress), and my Mom and sister were pretty alarmed to hear loud banging coming from the dressing room (I ended up kicking the walls trying to find my feet under all those fucking layers of crinoline and taffeta and whatever else people hide inside dresses).

Finally I found this really simple dress with one shoulder (so eighties cool!) that just flows all the way down. I can breathe and walk and dance and it finally felt like me. And maybe this wedding will be alright after all. I hope...

The roadtrip has begun

Mat and I packed up the car and drove from Montreal to Ottawa to pick up the puppy, who was hanging out at his sister's.

Even though the drive was short, it was fun, choosing the old highway that twists around the water.

Today, we start the big drive, heading to Harlem, New York for the night.

Where is home, when your heart is all over the place?

My sister called early yesterday morning. Well, it was 8:00 a.m., but still, it felt early. "I'm sorry", she said. "I didn't realize what time it was there". I told her it was okay, I would call her back in a bit, once I had a chance to fully wake up.

When I called her a half hour later, it turned out she was at my parents cottage-turned house, with a lot of commotion in the background. Cousins and friends and babies were all there, having a fun, impromptu family BBQ, the day after our cousin's wedding. I talked to my sister, to my parents, to cousins who I hadn't spoken with in a long time. I hung up the phone feeling a bit funny, but shook it off and went about the rest of my day.

Later that night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I couldn't get over how sad I felt that they were all having fun without me, that I was missing out on everything. I had already spoken to my family about how I wouldn't be making it for the wedding, since I have my sister's wedding to go to next month. And I love living here and know that I wouldn't be happy living there. But I still cried myself to sleep last night. And I still haven't been able to shake that funny feeling...

Lessons from running

On June 4th, I ran the Whistler Half Marathon. It was the first race I had run in over five years. And two weeks later, I ran the Johnny Miles 10k with my Dad. Or rather, we started together and he was waiting, cheering me on, at the finish line.

I've also been listening to Neil Firore's audiobook, "The Now Habit". At one point, he talks about how his clients have taken huge learnings from their athletic endeavours, and then been able to apply what they have learned to the rest of their lives. So far, I've learned two big lessons.

Number 1 - Goal setting

In January, when I decided to sign up for the half, my goal was to finish the race. All through my eight weeks of training (because I procrastinated and didn't start training until March), I had the same goal. Based on my progress, I figured it would take me 2 1/2 hours. And then two days before the event, with no time left to train, I decided to change the goal. Now I wanted to finish in 2 hours. Just like that. And you know how long it took me? Two hours and 29 minutes. Lesson learned? Goals need to be realistic and attainable.

Number 2 - People can change

As you can probably tell from my half marathon time, I am a slow runner. Seriously slow. My sister looked at my race photos & said I looked like a speed walker. All through my training for the half, I ran painfully slow, with everyone else on the trail zipping by me. "It's okay", I would tell myself. "You're just a slow runner."

And then, two days after the half, I flew to Nova Scotia to visit with my family, already signed up for the 10k. With two weeks to train, and a previous 10k race time of 1:10, I decided that I could change. I could be a faster runner. I could run in under an hour. So I actually did two speed training sessions, one each week. I still went for slow 5k runs, but they were faster than I was used to. And on the day of the race, on the hottest and muggiest day I had experienced in all of 2011, I ran the first 5k in 29 minutes and the whole 10k in 1:03. No, I didn't break an hour. But I came close. And more importantly, I changed.

So lesson learned? Change is possible. I can be faster, stronger, fitter. But I can also change in other areas of my life. I can also be louder, bolder, fiercer. For the first time ever, I look forward to change.

A half marathon is a long way to run

Tomorrow is the day. Half marathon starting at 7:30 a.m., 21.1 km. I'm not sure if I've trained enough, followed my running schedule closely enough. Hell, who am I kidding, if I had been following a recipe for chocolate cake, I would now be eating blueberry muffins.

My last run was a week and a half ago, and I ran 19 km. Physically, it was kind of tough, but the hardest part was the conversation in my head:

"Alright, here we go again. Nineteen kilometres. Huh. Really? That's going to take at least 2 hours. This is going to be boor-ing."

"If I make it all the way up Blueberry Hill, it will mean that I will actually be able to finish the half on race day. Wait, what if I get tired and have to stop on the way up this hill? Does that mean I'm going to fail? Yes."

"Okay. If I make it to the little path before Boston Pizza, I'll be done and I can stop running. Wait, I just stopped. And I'm not there yet. Arrgh."

Lazy rainy days

Sometimes the best of plans go awry in the nicest of ways. Like today. I had planned to wake up early and complete an entire to-do-list worth of errands and tasks. Instead, I slept until 10, spent all morning in my pj's, and haven't done any exercise other than sprint from the car to Purebread Whistler to buy cheese bread and a sinfully delicious chocolate brownie.

But sometimes it's just so nice to wrap myself in a cozy blanket and curl up on the couch watching movies and bad daytime TV, safe and dry, away from the pouring rain outside.

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I've been searching for something lately, unsure what it is I'm missing. Time spent Googling vacation spots, both far off and close by, books checked out from the library with the promise of changing my life, visits with friends for the purpose of keeping my goals and aspirations in line. Finally I just booked an overdue trip home to Nova Scotia. And now my dreams are full of visions of the ocean, of familiar places and sounds, of family who see each other more often than I speak to them over the phone.

Sometimes the hardest part is clicking 'submit'

At the beginning of this year, I decided that I needed a new focus for 2011. So I attended a goal setting seminar hosted by Kathy Goddard of Lighthouse Visionary Strategies (it was an amazing experience - I'll be going next year, and you should too). I set goals for all areas of my life, including physical, emotional, career, financial, etc. And then we had to write a letter to our future selves, dated December 2011, talking about how great it will be to have achieved all of our goals. When I got home, I placed the sealed envelope in the drawer of my night-side table and pushed it out of my mind.

Until 7pm on March 31st. Then the envelope was all that I could think about. Under the physical health section, I had decided, in January, to sign up for the Whistler Half Marathon. And three months later, on the eve of the last day of the early-bird registration price, I sat in front of my computer, registration form already filled out, mouse hovering over the 'submit' button.

Could I really run 21.1 km? The longest I had ever run before was 10km and that was years ago. I'm 30 now, for goodness sake. But really. This was my first real goal of the year. No way I could let myself off the hook that easily. So I took a deep breath, gritted my teeth, and clicked the button. There. That wasn't so hard. Now I just had to figure out how to run longer than I had ever run before without passing out halfway through and having to call someone for a ride home.

I can hear spring coming

I took O for a cross country ski last week, maybe our last for the season. It was early morning and no one else was around. The snow was hard, frozen over from the afternoon freeze the day before. Still, I went as fast as I could, slowing down every so often when the track disappeared. Finally, we reached Rainbow Park and I stopped to take off my skis and run around with O for a little break.

It was a beautiful morning, with the sun not quite rising over the mountains on the left and the ski hill on the right empty of skiers. And for the first time all season, I was not surrounded by silence. Instead, I could hear birds chirping, water running, spring coming at last.
Photo credits: me

Setting Them Up for Success - Make Plans for Humping Time

This winter, I bought a whole classic ski setup so that O and I can have something to do outside together besides walking (boring for him) and going to the dog park (boring for me). We started off slowly, because it took me a few times to get the hang of it and stop falling on my ass every ten minutes. And there was a particularly bad outing where O just plain ran away and spent the whole afternoon playing outside of our old house. while I skied back to the car and drove home alone, calling the muni on the way to once again report my missing dog.

But gradually we got the hang of it and I started to enjoy these short 3km skis together. And then my parents came to visit for a week. My dad is allergic to dogs and neither he nor my mom are big dog kind of people (O weighs 70 lbs; their dog weighs 10 lbs), so I pretty much ignored O for an entire week.

After a fantastic visit, my parents left and I attempted to get back into my normal routine. I took O for a ski. And it was awful. Terrible. Not fun at all. He charged at people, ran way ahead of me, and adopted a group of 20-somethings as his new family, playing with them on the frozen lake and ignoring me completely as I called after him and waved treats in the air, to no avail. I put on his leash and slowly wiggled my skis along the track, all the while cursing O and feeling frustrated and angry.

And then it dawned on me - I wasn't setting him up for success. I was simply expecting him to be good and then getting mad when he wasn't. And the solution? So simple! Now I take him to the dog park first, let him run off all his craziness and hump other dogs, and then we head out for a ski together. We've been three times since my 'ah-ha' moment and every time has been great. Now he trots along beside me like a well-behaved dog and plays with me on the lake instead of running after other people. And all it took was some well-planned humping time.

If a girl falls in the rain, does anyone see it?

A few weeks ago, I bought some brand new classic skis from the Nordic Shop in Squamish. Yesterday morning, I woke up super early with the plan of taking O cross country skiing, to finally break in the new skis. No matter that it was pissing down rain, I was committed. So I packed everything in the car and agreed to drop off the man at ski school on the way (he's a ski instructor). Halfway there, he said something about skis and I realized, "Oh shit! My new skis aren't fastened into the ski rack!". The man opened the sun roof, slammed shut the ski rack, and all was good. Although I did receive a lecture about making sure all equipment is secure before driving away.

So I took O to Whistler's Meadow Park and went cross country skiing for the second time ever in my life. And his. O ran around the parking lot for twenty minutes while I figured out how to put the damn skis on. Thank goodness no one was there to see me. I was seriously convinced for a while that the bindings / boots were broken. Finally, we were ready to go. O looked so excited, because skis usually mean speed. But there was nothing fast about that ski expedition. I must have fell over at least four times. Eventually, O looked bored and we headed back to the car, where he met another dog. Finally, he got to run around at top speed. Hopefully next time will be better!

An early morning ski

This morning, I used my new-found wake-up-early abilities learned at the Avalanche course to get out of bed before the crack of dawn. It was so early that even the dog was still asleep, curled up on the bed, looking warm and comfy.

Quick breakfast for both of us and then I strapped my skis to my back, grabbed O's leash, and started hiking up the road in my ski boots, head lamp leading the way through the dark and quiet streets.

At the top of the road, I reached the Bear River ski out, slapped the skins on my skis and started touring up the trail. O loved it, dashing in and out of the woods on either side of me, excited to be making paw prints on freshly fallen snow.

And then it was time to head back down. O running ahead of me, leaping out of the snow like a deer, and then running full-speed to keep up as I ski past him, excited that I am the faster one for once.

Time to pack it in?

I'm not even sure if anyone ever reads these posts except me. It feels like I'm sending random words off into space, hoping that some day long in the future, someone will know what I thought and felt.

I didn't pass my CAA Level 1 Ops course. And I feel upset, sad, disappointed, and like a big pile of shit. My boyfriend passed. And I'm trying to be happy for him. But he's on his way to Bellingham for the night, with a big day of skiing planned at Baker for tomorrow. So tonight will be just me and the dog and a big bottle of wine.

I failed the snow pit portion. It's possible to retest, as long I do it before the end of next year. And I was given some helpful feedback. But that means a lot of digging practice and the whole effort of traveling somewhere to show I actually know how to conduct a snow profile. I just wish the outcome had been different.

I feel tired of this whole Whistler thing. Tired of the snow and of skiing and trying to make a life in a place where I might not actually belong. Maybe I should just pack it all in and move home. Back to Nova Scotia. Back to a place where I know everyone, where I can see my family whenever I want, where I work a normal Monday to Friday, 9-5 job and go skiing at a little ski hill on weekends and maybe a big ski trip once a year. Or maybe no skiing at all? What is this god-damned obsession with skiing?

Photo credit: vikush

So tired & head is full of avalanche knowledge

I have two days left on my Level 1 Ops course. We have been out on the mountain every day, touring, digging snow pits, and trying to cram as much knowledge in our heads as possible. I am exhausted. Legs and arms hurt. So tired, but going to sleep means time not spent studying or practicing transceiver searches.

I've learned so much over the past few days, and really feel a lot more comfortable going out on the mountains. Not sure if I've learned enough yet for the tests at the end of the week?

Skiing has been great. For some reason, I felt really nervous the first day or two (had to do with me tweaking my knee first turn of the course) but now starting to get some good turns and getting that surfboard feeling under my skis.

Today I built my first ever pit, and did a pretty good job (although the instructor did help with some of the digging). Starting to actually see what's going on with snow layers, crystal formations. Not sure if I'll ever really like peeing in the snow. I'm sure everyone's seen my bare butt by now.

So tired, contacts are sticking to my eyeballs. Not even able to type coherent paragraphs, although the sentences still seem okay. Time to do some more summaries of the day's observations, pack my bag, and head to bed.

A detour on the way to Powder Monashee Mountains

I'm on my way to the Powder Monashee Mountains to take my Avalanche Ops Level 1 course. Was planning to make it all the way to Vernon, but we didn't leave Whistler until 2:30 this afternoon. So now I'm chilling at the Holiday Inn in Kelowna, drinking some beer, wondering what this course is going to be like.

Lessons learned today:
1. Ski pole baskets are impossible to find in Whistler
2. Trying to find last-minute items, such as a cheap snow thermometer, never works.
3. When driving somewhere you've never been, it's a good idea to check a map before you leave. And also a good idea to check before you take a right at the fork in the road, when you really have no idea if you should go right or left. (For the record, I should have gone left. It would have saved an hour of driving).

I guess I'm also a bit nervous about the course. I'm a bit rusty on my beacon searches. But I've had a lot of touring experience and everyone tells me there's lots of practice time during the course. So cross your fingers for me, and I'll do my best to study hard and learn as much as I can.

Accidental Sort-of Ski Bum

I didn't set out to be a ski bum. I always did really well in school, was at or near the top of my class. I have two bachelors degrees and my masters in business. I've lived in three Canadian cities and held professional marketing positions in several different industries.

Yet here I am, living in Whistler, doing marketing for a backcountry ski company, part-timing as a ski instructor, and trying to get my own little fledgling marketing business off the ground. And also skiing every chance I can get.

Maybe I don't couch-surf, party every night, and eat Kraft Dinner at least once a day. But I've skied every year since I was four, and after living in BC for the past few years, I can't imagine starting each day without checking the weather, snow report and avalanche advisory.

Everyone says this will be a La Nina winter, with cold temps and lots of fluffy stuff, so I say bring it it on. I am, after all, a sort-of ski bum.

Six Days to Thirty - The Life Unlived

I'm tired. Not because it's late, which it is, at 11:30 p.m. on a Tuesday. But because I'm just worn out.

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As a kid, I never wondered about my life as an adult, because I had it all figured out. I used to play The Game of Life with my sisters. Somehow, miraculously (come on, who am I kidding, I'm a master manipulator when I want to be), I always ended up with six kids (which is two kids too many to fit in the standard sedan that the game supplies you with), living in an old farmhouse and working as a doctor. That was my dream life, and I fully expected it to come true.

Now I'm approaching 30. Okay, I'll actually be thirty in six days. And I'm not married and I don't have any children; I'm not a doctor and I don't live in a farmhouse.

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My dog ran away today, after a 40-minute hike in the woods, just before I was going to put his leash back on and head down the street to our house. I had a huge to-do list that was only a third of the way completed. But instead of finishing my list (which actually included taking my dog in the car to do errands, followed by a visit to the dog park), I ended up searching for him for almost three hours, hiking through the woods, retracing our steps, wearing myself out. Finally, I got a call from a little girl, who said my dog was at the bottom of the street, hanging around a small park, chewing a blue ball he stole from a little boy. Who she was and how she got my number, I'm not sure. I want to phone her tomorrow, hopefully talk to her parents, see if I can give a gift of thanks.

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Living on the other side of the country from where I grew up, from where my family still lives, is difficult. I feel like I've almost found my place, but it's still exhausting. Even though it's been over two years, sometimes it feels like no one knows me and I'm starting from scratch, volunteering, joining groups and clubs, trying to meet people and establish myself.

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After finding the dog, I headed home, made a dinner that I didn't eat until hours later (my boyfriend works nights, so I try to cook meals for him), went to band practice, made a quick grocery trip, bought some wine (because after my afternoon, I needed a drink), came home, finished cleaning the bathtub, and finally ate my dinner.

There's folded towels piled on the chair that I keep meaning to list on Craigslist, dry clothes in the dryer, wet clothes in the washer, and I don't care, because I'm tired. I feel like I never get ahead, and there's always two things unfinished for every one thing I cross off the list. No one ever told me that this was what being grown up really meant.

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Makes me wonder if I could have really handled a real life version of The Game of Life?

When life throws curveballs

Sometimes things happen that cause you to step back, to be quiet, to reflect. You retreat and hibernate for a while, choosing to spend time with your family, with those who you are closest to, until things pass over.

Then it is done, finished, in the past, but the feelings still linger. Feelings of sadness, of being emotionally drained, of being tired of talking. The world keeps going, but you are not quite ready to jump back in at full speed.

And then, before you know it, life is flying by again. You are in the middle of things, back in the chaos, hoping that you will remember a little of the calm, that something good will have come from all of the pain.

Social Media Marketing - a refresher

On Thursday, I attended a seminar in Vancouver, put on by the Canadian Public Relations Society Vancouver (CPRS).

The seminar was titled "Social Media - Beyond the Basics" and featured Gillian Muessig, President and Co-founder, SEOmoz. The session was billed as an opportunity to learn about "the world of social media content development and promotion through SEO, social media, and beyond" and also to go "beyond best practice to advanced stats and tips for implementation of social media".

Not really sure that the seminar followed the description that well, but I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Gillian speak. She had a well-thought out presentation that flowed well, and had a lot of interesting stats, without information overload. Plus it was nice to have a social media refresher and a chance to talk shop with women (because there didn't seem to be many guys there) who work with social media marketing (SMM) everyday. My only negative about the experience was the lack of question period, because I'm sure Gillian would have had some great answers.

Some of my key learnings (both from the presentation & from conversations):

• SMM needs to be a long-term strategy, and shouldn't be the end-all of your marketing plan
• Twitter isn't near as popular as one may think, despite my own trend toward writing emails in 140 characters or less, as conditioned by frequent Tweeting
• Most marketing professionals still don't "get", or even use, Twitter
• Mobile marketing looks like a big trend, maybe here to stay
• Social networking is up 100% for people over 65, while Facebook still targets ads to under 65 . Might be a business opportunity?
  
• Customer engagement is critical
• Use SMM to "listen" to what customers are saying
• Let people know you're listening, and remember to say "thank you"
• Strive to increase "stickiness" - make people want to stay with your business

Photo credit: svilen001

Long days, short sleeps.

I have been tired lately. Absolutely exhausted, yawn in your face while you're talking to me, tired. Not sure if it's the time of year, what with dark mornings and evenings, too much rain, or just a flexible schedule that leads to me staying up all hours of the night and sleeping well past when the man comes home from work in the mornings.

This article from BCLocalNews.com talks about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). According to the article, it affects nearly 50% of adults. Maybe I should move to Mexico?

Okay, probably not going to happen. So I'll try out some of their tips (maybe if I put them in writing, I'll actually make an effort?):
1. Get as much sun as possible - probably not going to happen, given all the rain :(
2. Stick to a sleep schedule - will try to be in bed by 11, awake by 8
3. Eat proteins, avoid sugars - was planning on a sugar detox, so this is good
4. Relax - good time to resume yoga
5. Support immune system - already taking vitamins!

How about you? Do you notice the effects of SAD? Or maybe you feel energized this time of year?
Photo credit: cahdequech