Where is home, when your heart is all over the place?

My sister called early yesterday morning. Well, it was 8:00 a.m., but still, it felt early. "I'm sorry", she said. "I didn't realize what time it was there". I told her it was okay, I would call her back in a bit, once I had a chance to fully wake up.

When I called her a half hour later, it turned out she was at my parents cottage-turned house, with a lot of commotion in the background. Cousins and friends and babies were all there, having a fun, impromptu family BBQ, the day after our cousin's wedding. I talked to my sister, to my parents, to cousins who I hadn't spoken with in a long time. I hung up the phone feeling a bit funny, but shook it off and went about the rest of my day.

Later that night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I couldn't get over how sad I felt that they were all having fun without me, that I was missing out on everything. I had already spoken to my family about how I wouldn't be making it for the wedding, since I have my sister's wedding to go to next month. And I love living here and know that I wouldn't be happy living there. But I still cried myself to sleep last night. And I still haven't been able to shake that funny feeling...

Lazy rainy days

Sometimes the best of plans go awry in the nicest of ways. Like today. I had planned to wake up early and complete an entire to-do-list worth of errands and tasks. Instead, I slept until 10, spent all morning in my pj's, and haven't done any exercise other than sprint from the car to Purebread Whistler to buy cheese bread and a sinfully delicious chocolate brownie.

But sometimes it's just so nice to wrap myself in a cozy blanket and curl up on the couch watching movies and bad daytime TV, safe and dry, away from the pouring rain outside.

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I've been searching for something lately, unsure what it is I'm missing. Time spent Googling vacation spots, both far off and close by, books checked out from the library with the promise of changing my life, visits with friends for the purpose of keeping my goals and aspirations in line. Finally I just booked an overdue trip home to Nova Scotia. And now my dreams are full of visions of the ocean, of familiar places and sounds, of family who see each other more often than I speak to them over the phone.