Time to pack it in?

I'm not even sure if anyone ever reads these posts except me. It feels like I'm sending random words off into space, hoping that some day long in the future, someone will know what I thought and felt.

I didn't pass my CAA Level 1 Ops course. And I feel upset, sad, disappointed, and like a big pile of shit. My boyfriend passed. And I'm trying to be happy for him. But he's on his way to Bellingham for the night, with a big day of skiing planned at Baker for tomorrow. So tonight will be just me and the dog and a big bottle of wine.

I failed the snow pit portion. It's possible to retest, as long I do it before the end of next year. And I was given some helpful feedback. But that means a lot of digging practice and the whole effort of traveling somewhere to show I actually know how to conduct a snow profile. I just wish the outcome had been different.

I feel tired of this whole Whistler thing. Tired of the snow and of skiing and trying to make a life in a place where I might not actually belong. Maybe I should just pack it all in and move home. Back to Nova Scotia. Back to a place where I know everyone, where I can see my family whenever I want, where I work a normal Monday to Friday, 9-5 job and go skiing at a little ski hill on weekends and maybe a big ski trip once a year. Or maybe no skiing at all? What is this god-damned obsession with skiing?

Photo credit: vikush