Where is home, when your heart is all over the place?

My sister called early yesterday morning. Well, it was 8:00 a.m., but still, it felt early. "I'm sorry", she said. "I didn't realize what time it was there". I told her it was okay, I would call her back in a bit, once I had a chance to fully wake up.

When I called her a half hour later, it turned out she was at my parents cottage-turned house, with a lot of commotion in the background. Cousins and friends and babies were all there, having a fun, impromptu family BBQ, the day after our cousin's wedding. I talked to my sister, to my parents, to cousins who I hadn't spoken with in a long time. I hung up the phone feeling a bit funny, but shook it off and went about the rest of my day.

Later that night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I couldn't get over how sad I felt that they were all having fun without me, that I was missing out on everything. I had already spoken to my family about how I wouldn't be making it for the wedding, since I have my sister's wedding to go to next month. And I love living here and know that I wouldn't be happy living there. But I still cried myself to sleep last night. And I still haven't been able to shake that funny feeling...